When Family Doesn’t Understand Your Healing Journey
- Nada Johnson

- Apr 15
- 3 min read

There’s a very specific kind of loneliness that can come with choosing to heal.
Not because you don’t have people around you, but because the people you love don’t fully understand the path you’re on.
For many Black and racialized women, going to therapy can feel like stepping outside of what they were taught about strength, family, and how to handle pain. You may finally feel ready to unpack what you’ve been carrying… and then hear:
“Just pray about it.”
“You’re fine, you’ve always been strong.”
“Why are you bringing up the past?”
And suddenly, something that felt like growth starts to feel heavy.
What This Can Feel Like
You might find yourself holding two truths at once.
You love your family. You understand their perspective.
But something in you is saying, “I need more than this.”

That tension can look like:
Feeling like the “different one” in your family
Holding back parts of your healing to keep the peace
Questioning yourself: “Am I doing too much?”
Feeling guilty for wanting something your family never had
Research reminds us that therapy is often misunderstood; it’s not a sign that something is wrong with you, but a reflection of strength and self-awareness (Cohen, 2023).
You Are Not Betraying Your Family
Choosing therapy is not rejection. It’s care.
You are not turning your back on your roots; you are tending to yourself in a way that may not have been modelled.

You are allowed to:
Seek support beyond your family
Talk about things that were never talked about
Set boundaries around what feels dismissive
Grow, even if others are not ready
You can love your family and still need something different.
How Counselling Can Support You
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services, the goal is not to pull you away from your family but to help you stay grounded in yourself while navigating and managing relationships in your family.

Together, we can work on:
Responding to dismissive comments with confidence
Setting respectful, clear boundaries
Processing guilt, grief, or distance
Staying connected to yourself while maintaining relationships
You don’t have to choose between healing and belonging.
A Gentle Reminder
If your healing isn’t understood right now, it doesn’t make it wrong.
Being the first to take this step can feel unfamiliar, but it is also powerful.
You are not “too much". You are not “doing the most.”
You are choosing yourself in a way that matters.
The first step is to book a free 10-minute phone consultation. This is a complimentary conversation to explore how counselling can be of benefit to you, and whether this support feels right for you at this time.
You deserve support that allows you to feel more grounded, more balanced, and more connected to yourself.
With warmth,

Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker

🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
Please share this post with someone who may be feeling overwhelmed from holding everything together or struggling to slow down. Sometimes support begins with a conversation. 🤝

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References
Cohen, I. S. (2023, July 17). The truth about people who go to therapy. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/ca/blog/your-emotional-meter/202307/the-truth-about-people-who-go-to-therapy



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