When You Feel Like You're Always the One Reaching Out
- Nada Johnson
- 6 days ago
- 5 min read
Many mothers and adult daughters deeply value their relationship.
Yet sometimes, one person begins feeling as though they are always the one keeping it going.
Always sending the first text.
Always making the phone call.
Always suggesting getting together.
Always checking in.
Over time, it can become emotionally exhausting to wonder whether the relationship matters just as much to the other person.
That uncertainty can quietly create hurt, disappointment, and emotional distance.
What Happens When You Stop Reaching Out?
After months or even years of feeling like you are carrying the relationship, it is not uncommon to wonder what would happen if you simply stopped.
You may find yourself thinking:
🟢 "If I don't call, will she?"
🟢 "If I don't reach out, how long will it take before I hear from her?"
🟢 "Does she even notice?"
🟢 "Am I the only one trying?"
These questions often come from a place of hurt rather than anger.
Sometimes people stop reaching out because they are protecting themselves from feeling rejected again. Unfortunately, this can create even more emotional distance when both people begin waiting for the other person to make the first move.
Reaching Out Does Not Always Mean Caring More
One of the greatest misunderstandings within relationships is assuming that the person who reaches out less cares less.
However, that is not always the case.
Some people express love by checking in often.
Others assume that giving space is respectful.
Some wait because they are afraid of being rejected.
Others wait because they believe the other person needs time.
Although intentions may be good, assumptions can easily replace conversations.
Without talking openly about these differences, both individuals may begin creating stories that are not actually true.
Counselling Helps Move Beyond Assumptions
Mother and adult daughter counselling creates opportunities to explore what has been happening beneath the surface. Rather than assuming what the other person is thinking or feeling, counselling encourages open, respectful conversations that create greater understanding.
Together, we may explore questions such as:
🟢 What does reaching out mean to each person?
🟢 What emotions arise when communication feels one-sided?
🟢 Are there fears that have never been spoken aloud?
🟢 What expectations does each person have ?
🟢 How can both people feel valued within the relationship?
Many families discover they have been interpreting one another's actions very differently than they intended. Sometimes understanding these differences becomes the first step toward rebuilding connection.
Healthy Relationships Are Not Measured by Who Texts First
Strong relationships are not built by keeping score.
They are built through mutual understanding, open communication, and a willingness to understand one another's needs.
Every relationship has seasons.
Sometimes one person has more capacity than the other.
Sometimes life circumstances affect how often someone reaches out.
Research supports family-based therapeutic approaches in improving communication, strengthening family relationships, and helping families navigate ongoing relational challenges together (Carr, 2019).
Building Connection Together
Feeling like you are always the one reaching out can be incredibly lonely.
It can leave you questioning your importance within a relationship that means so much to you.
The good news is that these experiences do not necessarily reflect a lack of love.
Often, they reflect differences in communication, expectations, life circumstances, or unspoken emotions that have never been explored together.
When those conversations begin to happen, relationships often begin changing in meaningful ways.
Mother & Adult Daughter Counselling
If you feel like you are carrying the relationship on your own, you do not have to continue navigating those feelings alone. Mother and adult daughter counselling provides a compassionate, non-judgmental space where both individuals can better understand one another, improve communication, rebuild trust, and strengthen emotional connection.
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services, I provide trauma-informed counselling tailored to the unique experiences of every mother and adult daughter relationship. Together, we explore the patterns, expectations, and communication challenges that may be contributing to emotional distance while working toward healthier ways of connecting.
There is no expectation that either person arrives with all the answers.
Counselling is not about deciding who has done more or who has done less.
It is about creating an environment where both individuals feel heard, respected, and understood as they work toward a stronger relationship together.
If you are wondering whether mother and adult daughter counselling could support your relationship, I invite you to book a free consultation call.
Sometimes healing begins with one conversation.
Sometimes it begins with one person choosing not to carry the relationship alone anymore.
With Warmth,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
Please share this post with someone who may feel like they are always the one reaching out in their relationship with their mother or adult daughter. Feeling alone in keeping a relationship going can be incredibly painful, but it does not always reflect a lack of love. Sometimes understanding begins with one honest conversation. 💙
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References
Carr, A. (2019). Family therapy and systemic interventions for child-focused problems: The current evidence base. Journal of Family Therapy, 41(2), 153–213. https://doi.org/10.1111/1467-6427.12226