What No One Tells You About Parenting a Neurodivergent Teen
- Nada Johnson
- Aug 7
- 4 min read
Why the grief, guilt, and fear you carry are more common than you think
You do everything they say you should.
You make the appointments.
You speak up in the IEP meetings.
You Google strategies late into the night.
You try new routines, new visuals, new diets.
You love your child with your whole being.
But what no one tells you is how parenting a neurodivergent teen can also break your heart — quietly, invisibly, in ways no one else sees.
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services (NJCCS), I work with mothers who are raising teens with ADHD, autism, and other neurodevelopmental differences — and carrying a deep emotional load no one talks about.
The Quiet Grief No One Names
Raising a neurodivergent teen often means navigating two emotional truths at once:
💛 Deep, unconditional love
💔 Grief for the parenting journey you imagined
You may mourn the ease you expected, the milestones that now look different, the connection that sometimes feels hard to reach.
You may also feel:
🌧️ Guilt that you’re not doing enough
🌧️ Shame that you sometimes feel resentment or fatigue
🌧️ Fear for your child’s future
🌧️ Frustration with systems that don’t support you
🌧️ Isolation from friends who don’t understand
You’re not alone in this.
Research shows that mothers of neurodivergent children are significantly more likely to experience chronic stress, anxiety, and depression than other parents (Hayes & Watson, 2013; Estes et al., 2013).
Your feelings are valid, and they deserve a place to land.
When Love Feels Like a Full-Time Job
It’s not just parenting. It’s case management. Advocating. Regulating. Monitoring. And still… You don’t always feel seen.
➡️ You question if you’re doing enough
➡️ You miss the version of yourself before the burnout
➡️ You worry: “Am I the only one struggling like this?”
Sometimes the pain isn’t just in the daily battles — it’s in the aloneness.
One study found that mothers of neurodivergent kids often feel emotionally abandoned by both formal supports and personal circles (Woodgate et al., 2008). The result? Exhaustion without acknowledgment.
You Deserve More Than Survival Mode
At NJCCS, I offer counselling support for mothers who feel lost in the whirlwind of caregiving.
🌿 Space to explore your grief, guilt, and identity
🌿 Strategies for emotional regulation and self-care
🌿 Support with school systems, advocacy, and boundaries
🌿 Relief from the expectation to “just be strong”
Because sometimes strength looks like asking for help.
It’s Okay to Feel Everything
Being the mother of a neurodivergent teen doesn’t mean you have to be perfect. It means you’re human.
You are allowed to feel:
💬 Conflicted
💬 Tired
💬 Hopeful
💬 Heartbroken
💬 Proud
💬 Unsure
And you are allowed to seek support, not because you’re weak, but because you matter too.
NJCCS Is Here for You
Whether you’re holding in tears, holding your breath, or holding it all together…
Let us hold space for you.
✨ You deserve rest, clarity, and connection.
✨ You are allowed to care for yourself.
✨ You do not have to wait for things to get worse to reach out.
Whenever you're ready, I’m here to walk with you.
With warmth,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
Follow our platforms for empowering content, parenting support, and mental health tools. Please share this post to support other mothers raising neurodivergent children; they deserve care too. 🤝
References
Estes, A., Olson, E., Sullivan, K., Greenson, J., Winter, J., Dawson, G., & Munson, J. (2013). Parenting-related stress and psychological distress in mothers of toddlers with autism spectrum disorders. Brain & Development, 35(2), 133–138. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.braindev.2012.10.004
Hayes, S. A., & Watson, S. L. (2013). The impact of parenting stress: A meta-analysis of studies comparing the experience of parenting stress in parents of children with and without autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 43, 629–642. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-012-1604-y
Peer, J. W., & Hillman, S. B. (2014). Stress and resilience for parents of children with intellectual and developmental disabilities: A review of key factors and recommendations for practitioners. Journal of Policy and Practice in Intellectual Disabilities, 11(2), 92–98. https://doi.org/10.1111/jppi.12072
Weiss, J. A., Wingsiong, A., & Lunsky, Y. (2013). Defining crisis in families of individuals with autism spectrum disorders. Autism, 18(8), 985–995. https://doi.org/10.1177/1362361313508024
Woodgate, R. L., Ateah, C., & Secco, L. (2008). Living in a world of our own: The experience of parents who have a child with autism. Qualitative Health Research, 18(8), 1075–1083. https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732308320112
Want More Support for Your Professional & Personal Growth?
🔷Try Potential Unlocked™🔷
In addition to counselling, NJCCS offers coaching through our sister brand, Potential Unlocked™, designed specifically for professional women navigating career, leadership, and life transitions.
We support clients with:
Communication and conflict strategy in the workplace
Career development and leadership coaching
Navigating workplace dynamics and burnout recovery
Building confidence in both personal and professional relationships (Online dating empowerment coaching, because personal growth impacts professional life too!)
👉 Visit www.potentialunlocked.ca to learn more or book a free 10-minute consultation call.
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