Black History Month, Strength, and the Hidden Cost for High-Achieving Black Women
- Nada Johnson
- 33 minutes ago
- 4 min read
Black History Month is often a time of celebration, resilience, leadership, brilliance, and survival.
It is also a time to name the cost.
For many high-achieving Black women, strength is not simply admired. It is expected. It is learned early, reinforced culturally, and rewarded socially. Over time, that expectation can become a burden that is carried silently.
You may still be functioning.
Still achieving.
Still supporting others.
Still showing up.
And yet, internally, something feels heavy.
This is not a weakness.
It is the impact of sustained emotional and relational strain.
✨ Strength as Legacy and as Weight
Black women’s strength has deep historical roots. It has protected families, communities, and generations. But when strength becomes the only acceptable identity, there is often little space left for vulnerability, rest, or care.
Many high-achieving Black women seeking support at NJCCS are not in crisis.
They are not failing.
They are not falling apart.
They are tired.
They may notice:
✔️ emotional exhaustion masked by competence
✔️ feeling unseen or emotionally alone
✔️ chronic stress that does not ease with rest
✔️ difficulty slowing down without guilt
✔️ resentment or grief they feel ashamed to name
✔️ thoughts like, “I should be grateful, so why does this still hurt?”
These experiences are common when stress becomes chronic and unrelenting.
✨ Being in a Relationship and Still Carrying Everything
A painful but rarely discussed reality for many Black women is being partnered, even married, and still feeling emotionally alone.
When partnered with a self-centred or emotionally unavailable partner, women often describe:
✔️ carrying the emotional and mental labour of the relationship
✔️ managing household and relational responsibilities
✔️ minimizing their needs to avoid conflict
✔️ feeling pressure to remain loyal, patient, and silent
✔️ slowly losing confidence and sense of self
There is often unspoken grief here. Grief for the partnership they hoped for and for the version of themselves they are sacrificing to hold it together.
✨ How Chronic Stress Lives in the Body
Long-term stress does not stay in the mind. It settles into the nervous system and the body.
Many high-achieving Black women experience:
🪞 burnout and persistent fatigue
🪞 sleep disruption and hormonal changes
🪞 autoimmune symptoms or chronic pain
🪞 weight and appetite changes
🪞 emotional shutdown or hyper-independence
🪞 a nervous system that never fully relaxes
For women conditioned to endure, rest can feel unsafe. Slowing down may trigger anxiety, guilt, or fear of losing control.
This is not a personal failure.
It is the body responding to years of pressure.
✨ When Success Makes Suffering Invisible
Professional achievement can unintentionally hide distress. When you are capable, productive, and reliable, others may assume you are fine, and you may feel pressure to agree.
Over time, this invisibility can turn inward:
🪞 self-blame
🪞 perfectionism
🪞 internalized failure despite success
🪞 shame for struggling despite having so much
Achievement does not protect against emotional neglect.
Strength does not eliminate the need for support.
✨ Reclaiming Strength Differently
This Black History Month, I invite a broader definition of strength.
Strength can include rest.
Strength can include asking for help.
Strength can include choosing support before you are depleted.
At NJCCS, therapy is a culturally responsive, trauma-informed space where Black women and women of colour can speak openly, slow down, and explore what they have been carrying, without minimizing, explaining, or performing strength.
In therapy, women often begin to:
🌿 understand how stress and trauma affect the body
🌿 name relational harm without self-blame
🌿 release the pressure to endure in silence
🌿 reconnect with their needs, boundaries, and voice
🌿 rebuild confidence that has been quietly eroded
Support does not erase strength.
It honours it.
✨ A Black History Month Invitation
As we honour Black history, let us also honour Black women, not only for what they survive, but for what they deserve.
If this resonates, you are not alone.
I offer a warm, thoughtful, and steady therapeutic space grounded in cultural understanding, trauma-informed care, and respect for your lived experience.
You are welcome to book a free 10-minute consultation to explore whether this support feels like the right fit.
You do not have to carry this alone 💙
With warmth,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
Please share this post to support another black woman who may be carrying too much alone. 🤝
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