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Prayers and Pressure: When Religion Breaks Instead of Builds

How religion has shaped silence, shame, and survival and what reclaiming your spiritual autonomy can look like.

“God Is Testing You”

When she shared her pain, she was told to pray harder.

When she opened up about abuse, they told her to forgive and forget.

When she questioned things, she was told to stay in her place.


For many Caribbean women, the church has been a space of both sanctuary and suffering. While faith is often central to cultural identity and community, it has also been weaponized to silence, control, and shame.


What Is Spiritual Trauma?

Spiritual trauma occurs when religious beliefs, practices, or leaders cause harm either directly (e.g., spiritual abuse, manipulation) or indirectly (e.g., suppressing identity, pathologizing emotion). It often creates confusion, fear, guilt, and deep inner conflict (Cashwell et al., 2017).


In Caribbean contexts, where Christianity especially Pentecostalism and Evangelicalism is deeply embedded in family and national life, questioning or leaving the church can feel like a betrayal of self, culture, and God (Williams, 2013).

Common Signs of Spiritual Trauma


  • Feeling unworthy, broken, or "bad" in God’s eyes

  • Anxiety or fear triggered by scripture, sermons, or religious spaces

  • Struggling with guilt for leaving or questioning the church

  • Suppressing sexuality, identity, or emotions to be “pure”

  • Feeling disconnected from a spiritual life that once brought joy


These wounds can run deep. In one study, Caribbean women who experienced sexual or domestic violence were often discouraged by religious communities from seeking help, being urged instead to “submit,” “stay strong,” or “not ruin the family’s reputation” (Barrow, 2018).

What Healing Looks Like at NJCCS


My approach is gentle, inclusive, and spiritually validating. You don’t need to abandon faith to heal but you do get to choose what you believe, how you worship, and what liberation feels like in your body and soul.


Clients are supported to:


  • Name the harm without fear of judgment

  • Reimagine their relationship with the divine outside of dogma

  • Explore cultural, ancestral, and intuitive forms of spirituality

  • Set boundaries with spiritual communities or family members

  • Heal from guilt, fear, and spiritual abuse with compassion

5 Ways NJCCS Supports Women Navigating Spiritual Trauma


  1. Nonjudgmental space to process religious harm, doubt, and shame

  2. Exploration of spiritual identity beyond organized religion

  3. Culturally grounded healing practices like meditation, journaling, and ancestral connection

  4. Education around religious trauma and emotional manipulation

  5. Permission to define your own sacredness with or without a church


You Are Still Sacred


You are not broken for leaving.

You are not less faithful for asking hard questions.

Your healing is holy. Your truth is valid.

And your relationship with the divine however you define it belongs to you.

At NJCCS, I believe spiritual trauma deserves to be held with tenderness, not fear. You can unlearn shame, reconnect with your inner wisdom, and return to yourself softly, fully, unapologetically.






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References

Barrow, C. (2018). Sexual violence and the church in the Caribbean: Social silence and institutional complicity.Caribbean Review of Gender Studies, 12, 1–25.

Cashwell, C. S., Bentley, P. B., & Yarborough, P. (2017). Religious and spiritual issues in counseling: Applications across diverse populations. American Counseling Association.

Williams, J. A. (2013). Faith and resistance: Navigating spiritual trauma in Black Caribbean communities. Journal of Religion and Health, 52(3), 1070–1085. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10943-012-9580-4


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