The Myth of “Getting Over It”
- Nada Johnson
- 13 minutes ago
- 3 min read
I hear it so often:
“It’s been years. Why am I still feeling this way? “Shouldn’t I be over it by now?”
If that sounds familiar, please know there’s nothing wrong with you. 💛 Healing isn’t about forgetting; it’s about learning to carry your story differently, so it no longer carries you.
💭 The Pressure to “Move On”
Our culture celebrates quick recovery.
We’re told to “let it go” or “move on.”
But real healing takes time.
Even when your mind moves forward, your body may still remember through tension, anxiety, or that quiet feeling of being “on guard.”
You’re not weak for still feeling it; you’re human. 🌱
🌿 When Survival Mode Becomes Everyday Life
When something painful happens, your body enters survival mode, a built-in safety system called the stress response.
According to Harvard Health (n.d.), this reaction helps protect you from danger. But when stress or trauma lasts too long, that system can get stuck “on,” even when life is calmer.
You might feel tired but can’t rest, alert but numb, always braced for something to go wrong.
It’s not your fault. Your body has been trying to protect you for a long time. 🫶🏾
🌸 What We Know About Trauma
The Canadian Psychological Association (n.d.) found that about 76% of Canadians have experienced at least one traumatic event.
Only a small number develop PTSD, but many still carry emotional after effects like sadness, fear, or disconnection.
These reactions don’t mean you’re broken. They mean your body remembers what it needed to survive. Healing helps it learn safety again. 🌷
💞 Integration Over Erasure
Healing isn’t about “getting over” what happened; it’s about integrating it into who you are now. Integration means your past no longer defines you; it becomes part of your strength.
When healing happens this way, you begin to:
✨ Feel emotions without fear
✨ Set boundaries without guilt
✨ Trust calm, even when it feels new
You don’t erase your story; you learn to live with it gently. 🌺
🌼 A Gentle Reminder
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services (NJCCS), I support women who are tired of pretending they’re “fine.”
Together, we explore what it means to move from surviving to living slowly, safely, and with compassion.
You don’t need to get over it. You just need space to heal. 💖
With warmth,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
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Please share this post to support others who may be struggling through change, because every person deserves space to grow, heal, and find peace through life’s shifting seasons. 💙
References
Canadian Psychological Association. (n.d.). Simple facts about traumatic stress and PTSD.https://cpa.ca/sections/traumaticstress/simplefacts/
Harvard Health. (n.d.). Understanding the stress response. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response
van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Penguin Books.
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