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The Voice in Your Head: How to Quiet the Inner Critic

Updated: 5 days ago

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You replay the conversation.

You overanalyze the email.

You criticize yourself for being too much or not enough.


Sound familiar?


That’s your inner critic at work.


For many women, this voice is loud, relentless, and painfully familiar. Even after doing years of healing work, that whisper of self-doubt can creep in and sabotage your confidence, relationships, or peace of mind.


At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services (NJCCS), Nada works with women who are tired of second-guessing themselves. Therapy offers a safe, empowering space to explore the roots of that inner critic—and learn how to quiet it with clarity and compassion.

Why the Inner Critic Feels So Loud (Even When You Know Better)

✔ It Protected You Once

The inner critic often develops as a defence mechanism, helping you stay safe in environments where you were judged, punished, or dismissed for being yourself.


✔ You Were Raised on Conditional Worth

If you only received validation when you achieved, people-pleased, or performed, you may have learned to equate self-worth with perfection.


✔ Perfectionism Disguised as Self-Improvement

You call it “just wanting to do well”, but deep down, it’s fear of being “not enough” that’s driving the pressure.


✔ Trauma and Emotional Neglect

When caregivers or partners invalidated your feelings or used criticism as control, your nervous system learned to self-monitor through shame.


✔ Social Comparison and Burnout

Whether it’s social media, work culture, or family dynamics, many women internalize the idea that rest = laziness and softness = weakness.

➡ A 2023 study in Women & Therapy found that self-criticism is significantly linked to emotional exhaustion, people-pleasing, and difficulty setting boundaries in high-achieving women aged 30–50 (Martins et al., 2023).

What a Calmer Inner Voice Sounds Like

🧠It says, “That was hard—and I did my best.”

💬 It lets you make mistakes without spiraling into shame.

🤍 It acknowledges your feelings without judgment.

🔁 It replaces harsh self-talk with curiosity.

🚫 It stops treating boundaries as betrayal.


Your inner voice can be your biggest source of strength, not sabotage. But you have to relearn how to trust it.

5 Ways Therapy Can Help You Turn Down the Inner Critic

✅ 1. Understand Where It Came From

The inner critic isn’t random—it has a history. Therapy helps you uncover the environments, relationships, and experiences that taught you to doubt yourself.


✅ 2. Name the Voice Without Letting It Run the Show

You’ll learn how to notice the critic without believing everything it says. This creates space for new, more supportive beliefs to grow.


✅ 3. Rebuild Self-Compassion

When you treat yourself with the gentleness you give others, you begin to disarm shame and reconnect with your inner safety.


✅ 4. Practice New Scripts for Old Triggers

Whether it’s conflict, rejection, or vulnerability, therapy helps you respond to triggers with self-trust, not self-blame.


✅ 5. Reclaim the Voice That’s Truly Yours

Your intuition, your needs, your values—they’re still there. Therapy helps you turn up the volume on the voice that knows your worth.

➡ Research published in Psychological Services shows that compassion-focused therapy is especially effective in reducing self-critical thinking and shame in trauma survivors (Gilbert et al., 2021).

You Are Not Broken—You Are Becoming

At NJCCS, we believe that healing isn’t about silencing the voice in your head—it’s about transforming it.


You deserve to speak to yourself with the same care and respect you offer others. And yes, that’s possible—even if you’ve lived most of your life feeling otherwise.


🌿 If you’re ready to quiet the critic and reconnect with your true voice, therapy can help. 🌿



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Sources

Gilbert, P., Simos, G., & Irons, C. (2021). Compassion-focused therapy for trauma survivors: Reducing shame and inner criticism. Psychological Services, 18(2), 132–145. https://doi.org/10.1037/ser0000365

Martins, L., Ahmed, R., & Goldstein, E. (2023). Women, shame, and self-criticism: The role of perfectionism in emotional burnout. Women & Therapy, 46(1), 22–40. https://doi.org/10.1080/02703149.2022.2112345



Want More Support for Your Professional & Personal Growth?

🔷Try Potential Unlocked™


In addition to counselling, NJCCS offers coaching through our sister brand, Potential Unlocked™, designed specifically for professional women navigating career, leadership, and life transitions.


We support clients with:

  • Communication and conflict strategy in the workplace

  • Career development and leadership coaching

  • Navigating workplace dynamics and burnout recovery

  • Building confidence in both personal and professional relationships

  • Online dating empowerment coaching (because personal growth impacts professional life too!)


👉 Visit www.potentialunlocked.ca to learn more or book a free 10-minute consultation call.


Rebuilding self-esteem takes courage. And stepping into your full potential does too. Let us walk with you.

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