Rebuilding Your Self-Esteem: A Gentle Path Back to You
- Nada Johnson
- Jun 21
- 4 min read
Hi, I’m Nada, a trauma-informed Therapist who works with women healing from abuse.
If you’re here, maybe you’ve been feeling like you lost pieces of yourself, your confidence, your voice, your spark.
And if that’s the case, I want you to know this:
What you’re feeling is a completely human response to trauma.
Abuse, in any form, can slowly wear down your sense of self. It can leave you questioning your worth, second-guessing your choices, and feeling like the person you once were has been buried beneath layers of shame or silence.
Let’s talk about why abuse impacts self-esteem so deeply, and how you can gently start rebuilding the relationship you have with yourself.
And if any part of this resonates, I’d be honored to support you through it one step at a time.
💔 How Abuse Affects Self-Esteem
Abuse doesn’t just hurt at the moment, it can slowly chip away at how you see
yourself. Whether it’s emotional, physical, sexual, or psychological, abuse often teaches women to believe lies about themselves:
“I’m not lovable.”
“Everything is my fault.”
“I’m too much” or “I’m not enough.”
“I don’t deserve better.”
These thoughts aren’t truly yours; they were shaped by someone who tried to control or diminish you. Over time, those experiences can leave you feeling small, unsure, or disconnected from your sense of power.
According to Saprea (n.d.) and The Body Image Treatment Clinic (2023), people who have experienced abuse also disconnect from their bodies and identities, which adds to the sense of feeling “lost” or “not like yourself.”
You might feel:
Unsure of your worth or abilities.
Afraid to speak up or take up space.
Stuck in negative self-talk or people-pleasing.
Like you have to prove your value to be loved.
These are all normal trauma responses, but they are not who you are.
🌱 What Healing Self-Esteem Can Look Like
Self-esteem is not about being perfect or confident all the time; it’s about remembering your worth, even when it feels hard. And like healing, it happens one gentle choice at a time.
1. Start with Safety
Before we talk about “confidence” or “self-love,” we start with safety.
Project HEAL reminds us that when trauma is involved, safety is the real foundation for healing (Manion, 2023).
You can’t build self-esteem on top of fear. You deserve to feel physically, emotionally, and relationally safe and that’s where we begin.
2. Notice the Way You Talk to Yourself
What’s your inner voice saying? Is it kind, or is it echoing the hurtful words of someone from your past? One small but powerful shift is replacing “What’s wrong with me?” with “What happened to me?” (Saprea, n.d.)
Try practicing simple affirmations like:
“I’m allowed to take up space.”
“I’m learning to trust myself again.”
“I don’t have to prove my worth, I already have it.”
3. Rebuild Trust with Yourself
Self-esteem grows when you consistently show yourself that you have your own back. That might look like:
Saying no when something doesn’t feel right.
Taking care of your body with rest and nourishment.
Setting boundaries, even if they feel uncomfortable.
These small acts of self-respect add up and help you start to believe in yourself again (The Body Image Treatment Clinic, 2023).
4. Reconnect with Your Strengths
Abuse can make you forget who you were before or who you are underneath the pain.
Think back to times you felt strong, creative, compassionate, or brave.
Those parts of you didn’t disappear they’ve just been quiet. Let’s bring them back to life.
5. Reach Out for Support
You don’t have to do this alone. Healing your self-esteem isn’t about pushing through, it’s about being supported in spaces where you feel safe, respected, and seen for who you are.
That’s exactly what I offer when I am counselling women.
💖 You Are Still You. And You Are Enough
Abuse may have shaken your confidence, but it didn’t take away your worth. You are still here. You are still you. And you deserve to feel proud of the woman you are becoming.
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services, I work with women who are ready to rebuild their self-esteem. I help you reconnect with your power and feel at home in yourself again.
If this blog spoke to your heart, please know you’re welcome to reach out. I would be honored to support you on your path toward confidence, peace, and healing.
Warm Regards,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services - Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
C: 437-887-6146
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📚 References
Manion, L. (2023, March 15). Safety is the foundation, not self-love. Project HEAL. https://www.theprojectheal.org/blog/safety-foundation-not-self-love
Saprea. (n.d.). Relationship with the body. https://saprea.org/heal/relationship-body/
The Body Image Treatment Clinic. (2023). Healing from trauma and body image issues. https://thebodyimagetreatmentclinic.co.uk/healing-from-trauma-and-body-image-issues/
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