Mother-Daughter Love Isn’t Always Easy, But It’s Always Worth Healing
- Nada Johnson
- Jul 10
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 16
Hi, I’m Nada, a Trauma-Informed Therapist supporting mothers and daughters as they navigate conflict, rebuild trust, and nurture more peaceful, loving bonds.
Not every mother-daughter relationship feels easy—or even safe.
You may love each other deeply, yet still struggle to communicate, feel misunderstood, or repeat old patterns that hurt.
The truth is: mother-daughter love can be messy, imperfect, and complicated… but it’s also one of the most precious relationships we have. And even when it feels hard, it’s worth healing.
Why Is This Relationship So Complex?
The mother-daughter bond carries a deep emotional history. From early attachment experiences to generational expectations, it is layered with hopes, hurts, and ideals.
When love is tangled with control, criticism, or emotional distance, it can create lasting wounds.
Mothers may feel guilt or worry that they’re “not enough.” Daughters may carry anger, resentment, or a sense of being unseen.
Even when both care deeply, misunderstanding can feel like a wall neither knows how to break down.
In fact, research shows that parent-child relationships, particularly mother-daughter dynamics, significantly influence self-esteem, emotional regulation, and adult well-being (McBride, Hays & Chang, 2018; Reid, 2020).
The Impact of Unspoken Hurt
So often, mothers and daughters avoid addressing what really hurts—sometimes out of fear of conflict, sometimes because "that’s just how we do things."
Common phrases like:
“That’s in the past, let’s move on.”
“You know I love you, why talk about it?”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
…can unintentionally dismiss or silence the emotional reality for both sides.
According to Dr. Terri Apter (2012), many mother-daughter tensions stem from unmet emotional needs and miscommunication, not a lack of love. When we understand this, we can begin to heal.
Therapy Can Create a Safe Bridge
Mother-daughter therapy is about gently opening space to explore your experiences without blame or shame.
In sessions, we work together to:
✔️ Understand old communication patterns and their roots
✔️ Identify and honor each person’s emotional needs
✔️ Create new ways of listening, speaking, and connecting
✔️ Rebuild trust with compassion and boundaries
Therapy isn’t about deciding who was "right" or "wrong." It’s about discovering how to move forward, together.
What Healing Looks Like
Healing takes time and courage.
But even small steps can begin to shift your relationship:
✨ Sharing emotions honestly but kindly
✨ Listening with openness, even when it’s uncomfortable
✨ Apologizing and receiving apologies
✨ Finding ways to reconnect outside of conflict (a shared meal, a hobby, a simple walk)
These are the quiet but powerful moments where healing begins.
Research suggests that emotional attunement and intentional repair can significantly improve relational satisfaction (Lebow & Rekart, 2007).
Gentle Steps to Begin
If you’re a daughter:
Reflect on what you truly need from your mother today
Write a letter to express your feelings (even if you don’t send it yet)
Invite your mother into a gentle conversation with clear intentions
If you’re a mother:
Listen without interruption or defence
Affirm your daughter’s feelings, even if they’re hard to hear
Let go of being “right” and lean into being present
And if you’re both open, therapy can offer a supportive space to walk this healing journey together.
You Deserve a Loving Connection
🌸 If this resonates with you, know that your relationship is worth tending to, no matter how complicated it feels right now.
Mother-daughter love isn’t always easy, but it can become a space of honesty, empathy, and healing.
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services, I offer a safe, compassionate environment for mothers and daughters who want to reconnect. Together, we can explore what healing might look like for you.
You don’t have to figure this out alone. 🩷
Warm Regards,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Family Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍 Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services – Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
Follow our platforms for empowering content, trauma recovery tools, and mental health support. Please share this post to help other mothers and daughters on the path to healing. 🤝
References
Apter, T. (2012). Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power. W. W. Norton & Company.Lebow, J., & Rekart, K. (2007). Integrative approaches to couple therapy. Journal of Contemporary Psychotherapy, 37(3), 171–179.McBride, M. C., Hays, D. G., & Chang, C. Y. (2018). Parent–child relationships: Attachment, emotion regulation, and well-being. Journal of Counseling & Development, 96(2), 127–136.Reid, D. (2020). The long-term effects of parental invalidation on adult psychological functioning. Psychological Reports, 123(1), 33–48.
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