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The Pressure to Forgive: When Caribbean Women Are Forced to Heal Too Quickly

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✝️ “Just Forgive and Move On…”


In many Caribbean families, forgiveness is treated as a moral obligation, often grounded in religious and cultural teachings. Survivors of abuse, betrayal, or neglect are frequently told to “let it go” or “give it to God,” without being given space to fully process their pain (Pargament et al., 2005). Forgiveness, while powerful, becomes weaponized when rushed or demanded.


The expectation to forgive often falls heavier on women, particularly those socialized to be peacekeepers and emotional caregivers in Caribbean households (Bailey & Miller, 2022). When forgiveness is rushed, it silences anger, bypasses grief, and breeds self-betrayal.

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🧠 The Psychological Consequences of Forced Forgiveness


When survivors are pushed to forgive too early especially without justice, acknowledgment, or accountability it results in:


  • Spiritual bypassing (Gorsuch & Walker, 2021)

  • Suppressed trauma responses (Worthington & Scherer, 2004)

  • Increased anxiety and confusion about boundaries (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2015)


In fact, studies show that pressuring survivors to forgive before they’re ready can worsen trauma symptoms, particularly in cases of interpersonal violence or childhood abuse (Greenberg et al., 2018).

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💚 What Nada Johnson Helps With:


At NJCCS, forgiveness is never forced. I help Caribbean women slow down, process the full range of emotions, and decide whether forgiveness is necessary or even healthy for their healing. I offer:


  1. Trauma-Informed Forgiveness Exploration→ Helps clients distinguish between authentic forgiveness and coerced silence.

  2. Emotion-Focused Therapy for Anger and Grief→ Validates the right to feel rage, sorrow, and betrayal before any talk of reconciliation.

  3. Boundary Clarification Coaching→ Supports clients in maintaining distance from harmful individuals even if forgiven.

  4. Spiritual Integration Without Shame→ Helps clients explore faith without bypassing emotional truth.

  5. Empowerment to Redefine Forgiveness→ Invites clients to create their own timeline and definition of what healing looks like.


🌿 How This Supports True Healing:


  • Improves Emotional Integrity→ Clients learn to honor all feelings without rushing to resolution (Greenberg & Watson, 2006).

  • Reduces Shame Around “Not Being Over It”→ Naming unfinished grief relieves pressure to appear healed (Thompson & Snyder, 2003).

  • Builds Stronger Boundaries with Family or Abusers→ Clients recognize forgiveness doesn’t mean reconnection (vanOyen Witvliet et al., 2001).

  • Reclaims Spiritual Autonomy→ Allows room for faith practices that support, rather than silence, emotional needs (Exline & Baumeister, 2000).

  • Encourages Empowered Decision-Making→ Whether clients choose to forgive or not, they do so from clarity not coercion.

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🕊️ Healing Isn’t a Race


Forgiveness is not a shortcut to healing it’s a possible destination.

You get to decide if you arrive there, how, and when.


At NJCCS, you’ll never be rushed.

Only gently guided back to yourself.


📞 Ready to Heal ?


Whether you're processing old pain or setting new boundaries, I am here to help you come back home to yourself.


With compassion, cultural understanding, and care.


Visit nadajohnsonservices.com or reach out @njccservices on Instagram to get started.


Warmly,


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Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW

Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker



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Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services - Online phone and video sessions available

Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue

C: 437-887-6146


Click here to join our newsletter and follow our platforms for empowering content, trauma recovery tools, and mental health support. Please share this post to help break the silence around trauma and promote healing in our communities. 🤝


🧾 References

Bailey, T., & Miller, L. (2022). Forgiveness in Black women’s trauma narratives: A cultural analysis. Journal of Black Psychology, 48(1), 62–80.

Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.

Exline, J. J., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). Expressing forgiveness and repentance: Benefits and barriers. In The Psychology of Forgiveness, 133–155.

Gorsuch, R. L., & Walker, D. (2021). Spiritual bypassing and the dangers of premature forgiveness. Psychology & Theology Review, 29(2), 14–28.

Greenberg, M., Warwar, S., & Malcolm, W. (2018). Emotion-focused therapy and the process of forgiveness. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 44(3), 408–423.

Greenberg, L. S., & Watson, J. (2006). Emotion-focused therapy for depression. APA Press.

Pargament, K. I., Murray-Swank, N., & Mahoney, A. (2005). Religion and forgiveness. Handbook of Forgiveness, 131–146.

Thompson, L. Y., & Snyder, C. R. (2003). Measuring forgiveness. In Positive Psychological Assessment, 301–312.

vanOyen Witvliet, C., Ludwig, T. E., & Vander Laan, K. L. (2001). Granting forgiveness or harboring grudges: Implications for emotion, physiology, and health. Psychological Science, 12(2), 117–123.

Worthington, E. L., & Scherer, M. (2004). Forgiveness is an emotion-focused coping strategy. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 23(1), 17–29.


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Want More Support for Your Professional & Personal Growth?

🔷Try Potential Unlocked™


In addition to counseling, NJCCS offers coaching through our sister brand, Potential Unlocked™, designed specifically for professional women navigating career, leadership, and life transitions.


We support clients with:

  • Communication and conflict strategy in the workplace

  • Career development and leadership coaching

  • Navigating workplace dynamics and burnout recovery

  • Building confidence in both personal and professional relationships (Online dating empowerment coaching, because personal growth impacts professional life too!)


👉 Visit www.potentialunlocked.ca to learn more or book a free 10-minute consultation call.

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