When Speaking Up Feels Risky: A Teacher’s Experience with Conflict at Work
- Nada Johnson
- Jun 29
- 4 min read
Hi, I’m Nada, a trauma-informed Therapist who supports women healing from abuse and the emotional harm that can happen in workplaces that don’t feel safe.
👩🏽🏫 If you’re a teacher in ongoing conflict with your Principal, you might feel like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself. Maybe you’ve raised concerns about student needs, workload, or fairness and instead of being supported, you’ve been dismissed, micromanaged, or even subtly punished.
This type of conflict may not always be loud, but it can be deeply painful.
Maybe you’ve been told:
“You’re not being a team player.”
“You need to be more positive.”
“You’re making things personal.”
And when you push back or ask for change, you’re met with silence, defensiveness, or worse isolation from the rest of the team.
🧠 Why Workplace Conflict Feels So Heavy for Women
As a woman, especially in schools, where women are often expected to care for everyone else, conflict with a Principal can feel deeply personal.
Your job, your reputation, and your peace of mind can all feel like they’re on the line. And that’s not just in your head.
Studies show that women are underrepresented in leadership and more likely to be judged harshly for speaking up, disagreeing, or setting boundaries (Pavlou, 2023).
At the same time, schools are still shaped by hierarchical systems that often reward compliance over collaboration which can silence or punish women who challenge the status quo (Stamarski & Son Hing, 2015).
You might start to notice:
Anxiety before meetings
Feeling ignored or punished after offering feedback
Trouble sleeping or relaxing
Questioning your abilities or your career
🌪 The Power Dynamic Between Teacher and Principal
When your Principal is the source of conflict, things get even more complicated. They control your evaluations, your schedule, your classroom resources, and sometimes even the tone of the entire staff culture.
According to Sense & Nous (2023), workplace conflict becomes especially harmful when there’s a power imbalance. You may feel unsafe to give honest feedback, and the stress of not knowing how your boss will react can build up over time.
And if you've tried to raise issues more than once with no resolution, it can start to feel like you are the problem when in reality, the system is failing to support open, healthy dialogue.
🛡 Protecting Yourself During Conflict
When you conflict with your boss, your priority should be protecting your mental and emotional safety, not proving yourself.
As Ashkenas (2014) writes in Harvard Business Review, it’s important to be both clear-headed and strategic.
Some simple but important steps you can take include:
✅ Document your interactions. Keep written records of meetings, changes in expectations, or decisions that impact your role.
✅ Clarify expectations in writing. Ask for goals or feedback through email so you have a paper trail.
✅ Find safe allies. Union reps, trusted colleagues, or mental health professionals can help validate and support you.
✅ Understand escalation paths. Know what supports exist through your school board or HR so you don’t feel stuck.
These strategies don’t mean you’re preparing for battle they mean you’re setting boundaries that protect your wellbeing.
🌱 How Therapy Can Support You
Conflict like this doesn’t just go away it stays in your body, in your nervous system, and in your sense of self. While practical tools are important, you also deserve a space to feel, process, and heal.
In our sessions together, I’ll support you in:
Making sense of the emotional weight you’re carrying
Learning nervous system regulation tools to calm stress and overwhelm
Rebuilding trust in your voice and judgment
Releasing guilt or shame you’ve been made to carry
Exploring what safety, peace, and self-respect could look like for you whether you stay or leave
You're not weak for being impacted. You're human. And healing from workplace trauma is possible.
💖 You Are Not the Problem and You Don’t Have to Stay Silent
If you’re a teacher experiencing constant tension with your principal, you might be feeling drained, discouraged, or stuck. You may even wonder if you’re being “too sensitive” or “too difficult.”
You’re not.
You are someone who cares deeply about your students, your values, and yourself and you deserve to feel supported and safe at work.
At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services, I help women heal from the emotional impact of toxic workplace dynamics and reclaim their strength.
Whether you want to find ways to advocate for yourself or simply need space to be heard and believed, I’m here for you.
Contact me today at info@nadajohnsonservices.com for counseling.
Warmly,
Nada Johnson, MSW, RSW
Registered Social Worker, Psychotherapist / trained Family Mediator / EMDR Trained Therapist / Certified Racial Trauma Clinician / Mental Health & Sexual Violence Consultant / Professional Speaker
🌍Website: www.nadajohnsonservices.com
📩 Contact: info@nadajohnsonservices.com
Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services - Online phone and video sessions available
Village Healing Centre: 240 Roncesvalles Avenue
C: 437-887-6146
Click here to join our newsletter and follow our platforms for empowering content, trauma recovery tools, and mental health support. Please share this post to help break the silence around trauma and promote healing in our communities. 🤝
📚 References
Ashkenas, R. (2014, July 25). When fighting with your boss, protect yourself first. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2014/07/when-fighting-with-your-boss-protect-yourself-first
Pavlou, C. (2023, September). Gender inequality in the workplace: A lack of women in leadership. Workable. https://resources.workable.com/stories-and-insights/gender-inequality-in-the-workplace
Sense & Nous. (2023). How to navigate workplace conflicts with your boss. https://www.sensenous.ca/thinking/how-to-navigate-workplace-conflicts-with-your-boss
Stamarski, C. S., & Son Hing, L. S. (2015). Gender inequalities in the workplace: The effects of organizational structures, processes, practices, and decision makers’ sexism. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 1400. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01400
Want More Support for Your Professional & Personal Growth?
🔷Try Potential Unlocked™
In addition to counseling, NJCCS offers coaching through our sister brand, Potential Unlocked™, designed specifically for professional women navigating career, leadership, and life transitions.
We support clients with:
Communication and conflict strategy in the workplace
Career development and leadership coaching
Navigating workplace dynamics and burnout recovery
Building confidence in both personal and professional relationships (Online dating empowerment coaching, because personal growth impacts professional life too!)
👉 Visit www.potentialunlocked.ca to learn more or book a free 10-minute consultation call.
Yorumlar