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When Surviving Becomes a Crime: How Women End Up Criminalized After Abuse

When we think about domestic violence, we often picture a familiar story: a woman is being harmed, the police are called, the person who hurt her is arrested, and justice is served.


 But for many survivors, that’s not usually the case. 


Instead of being protected, these women often get put in handcuffs. Although they’re survivors of abuse, the system sees them as criminals rather than victims.

That’s the harsh reality for many survivors—and it happens more often than people think.



At Nada Johnson Consulting & Counselling Services (NJCCS), Nada deeply understands how complicated survival can be—especially when it leads to criminal charges. She works with women who were punished for defending themselves or for reacting in fear as a result of experiencing abuse. Nada also helps women navigate the justice system—whether that's preparing for court or dealing with the impact of criminal proceedings. Her work sheds light on the painful reality that not all survivors are protected by the system, with some being pushed further into it.


This blog post explores how survivors of abuse, especially women, can end up charged, misunderstood, and overlooked by the very systems meant to support them. We hope this post helps bring awareness to these unfortunate circumstances and reminds you that if this has happened to you, you’re not alone.

When Self-Defense Is Seen As a Crime


How It Can Happen


After months or even years of walking on eggshells, feeling unsafe, and trying to survive emotional or physical abuse, a woman finally hits her breaking point. Maybe she pushes him, yells back, or even throws something in fear after being threatened. Then the police are called. But when officers arrive, they focus on who reacted last—not on what led up to that moment. And because she did, she’s the one arrested.

And suddenly, she’s not seen as the victim—she’s treated like the aggressor.

Mandatory Charging Policies


In Canada, police officers don't have many choices when responding to a domestic violence call (Hoffer, 2024). Mandatory charging policies exist and require officers to lay charges if they believe an assault occurred—regardless of the circumstances and even if the survivor was trying to defend herself (Hoffer, 2024).

That means no time to ask about what led up to the moment. No space to hear who felt afraid and hurt before or who has been living in fear for too long.

Who Gets Charged?


Officers might focus on who looks more upset, who has visible injuries, or who speaks first. In moments like that, the person who reacts out of fear or frustration is often seen as the problem—and for many survivors, that’s unfortunately what happens.

As a result, women are often charged with assault, resisting arrest, or even child endangerment. Sometimes, they’re even charged together with their partner if the police can’t clearly tell who the primary aggressor is (Hoffer, 2024).

And just like that, surviving becomes a crime.

Why Does This Happen?


So, how does someone who’s been abused end up getting arrested or charged?

It’s not just a one-time mistake. The pattern continues due to bigger problems—like how the legal system works, how society sees survivors, and how we misunderstand what abuse really looks like.

Here are a few reasons why this happens so often:


1. The legal system often looks for “perfect victims” 

Survivors who don’t act calm, quiet, or cooperative are often doubted or dismissed. But individual situations don't always look the same. There’s still a strong belief in the “perfect victim”—someone who’s visibly afraid, eager to leave, and has clear signs of abuse. But not every survivor fits that image. Many stay for financial, emotional, or safety reasons—and on top of that, trauma can affect memory, behaviour, and decision-making (Moss, 2025).

2. Coercive control is misunderstood

Abuse isn’t always physical. Many women experience coercive control—a form of abuse that includes isolation, threats, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation. It slowly breaks down a person’s sense of self over time (Lamotheon, 2019).

Because there are no bruises, this kind of harm often goes unnoticed. Police may not recognize it, courts may not take it seriously, and survivors are left trying to explain something not physically there but seriously damaging.

3. Bias and Stereotypes Shape the Response

Not all women are treated the same. Racial, cultural, and class-based stereotypes can shape how survivors are seen—especially racialized and immigrant women. These women are more likely to be viewed as “aggressive” or “unstable,” often based on harmful and racist beliefs (Pollack, Battaglia, & Allspach, 2005). 

Language barriers, mental health struggles, or even just how someone expresses emotion can be misread as guilt or resistance.


What Healing Can Look Like


Healing during and after criminalization is possible—but it requires care that understands the whole story. It requires services that don’t just ask, “What did you do?” but “What happened to you?”


That’s what NJCCS is here for.

How NJCCS Supports Criminalized Women


🌿 Individual & Court-Ordered Counselling

NJCCS offers private counselling to women navigating the criminal justice system. You’ll receive support that prioritizes your safety, well-being, and healing during legal proceedings.


🌿 Court Support & System Navigation

From accompanying you in court to explaining legal steps, NJCCS helps you feel less alone

and more prepared. Nada also connects clients with legal referrals and advocacy partners.



🌿 Rebuilding Through Psychoeducation & Coping Tools

If you’re a criminalized survivor, NJCCS supports you through the healing process. This includes teaching healthy responses to stress, supporting rehabilitation, and helping you rebuild self-esteem and healthy relationships.


🌿 Trauma-Informed, Empowering Care

Nada’s work is rooted in empathy, cultural sensitivity, and empowerment. She supports women with dignity and compassion—whether they are survivors of violence seeking justice or survivors who have been charged because of traumatic experiences

You deserve support, healing, and a life that isn’t defined by what someone else did to you.


💙 Support is here when you’re ready.💙






Click here to join our newsletter and follow our platforms for empowering content, trauma recovery tools, and mental health support. Please share this post to help break the silence around trauma and promote healing in our communities. 🤝



References

Hoffer, E. (2024, March 27). Failure to protect: The criminalization of survivors of intimate partner violence is serious and long-lasting. Policy Options. https://policyoptions.irpp.org/magazines/march-2024/mandatory-charging-intimate-violence/

Lamotheon, C. (2019). What is coercive control? Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/coercive-control

Moss, V. (2025). Family violence: The myth of the perfect victim. Family Law Education. https://familylawedu.com.au/family-violence-the-myth-of-the-perfect-victim/

Pollack, S., Battaglia, M., & Allspach, A. (2005). Women charged with domestic violence in Toronto: The unintended consequences of mandatory charge policies. Ontario Association of Interval and Transition Houses (OAITH). https://www.oaith.ca/assets/files/Publications/womenchargedfinal.pdf

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